how to: deal with bpd (relationship edition)

I am going to start this of by saying sorry for not really posting regularly, I try to but it isn't as easy as it seems to be. This whole 'journey' has been hard for me and I can imagine it has also been hard on the people around me. So I want to help them by writing these 'how to' posts. So here we go I guess?

I can see that being with someone who has BPD is difficult. You don't really know how to handle it and it seems like whatever you do that seems right, has the opposite effect. You try to help and be understanding, yet it doesn't work and you don't know what to do, you don't know whether you can still do this or not. And that sucks, I get that.

Most of the time you will argue because you feel like giving me what I want will only make it worse. I admit that sometimes that is true, but you need to pick your battles. would you rather fight over every little thing or choose to only argue about the 'important' things? I know it's hard to just ignore some things but I feel like it will help.

I get really upset really fast and it can be about the smallest things, like I recently got upset about not being able to park my car where I wanted to and I got mad at my boyfriend while he couldn't do anything about it and was only trying to help me. And it's like I know that I shouldn't get angry but I can't do anything about it. The only thing you can do at a moment like that is just ignore it and try to go on with your day so it doesn't turn into a massive fight. Even though that is hard because you did nothing wrong and you don't want to feel like it is your fault.

 It all comes down to this: I will push people away before they can leave me...

Some helpful articles:

Most accurate article on borderline we have read - kudos 

Understanding romantic BPD relationships

When your loved one has BPD

Loving someone with BPD