too young to be diagnosed

when I was eighteen I was 'diagnosed' with something called borderline disorder. For me this meant I was different and in one way I hated it but in another way I was happy I finally knew what was 'wrong'. I'm about to tell you how I got to this point in hopes of maybe helping someone else.

As long as I can remember, I have been going to a psychologist. When I was little I had to go because there were some problems with my dad and stepmom. Then came middle school and that also was a hard time because I never really fit in anywhere. 

I had always felt different. Because I didn't know why, my grades started dropping, which made me feel even worse. So after not going for a while, I went back to see my psychologist. After a few sessions and a bit of testing, she told me I had ADD, which is a concentration disorder. After that it went well for a while.

A few years after my diagnosis came the 'problems'. I was constantly fighting with my parents, but it wasn't just normal teenage behavior. Because it had been a couple of years since I had seen my previous psychologist, we started looking for a new one. After quite a difficult search, we found one, she diagnosed me. After that I went to see someone who would help me live with it and I'm still seeing her to this day.

I had been going there for a while when the new diagnosis finally came. She told me I have borderline disorder, although it isn't a 'real diagnosis' because I'm too young. Borderline will normally be developed when a person is older or at least in their twenties. With me it was different. I showed all the signs of having this 'disorder' even though I was only eighteen.

And that brings us to today, I'm nineteen now and still trying to live with it. But I am trying my best to make it easier on me and the people around me. It takes a lot of work but it has really helped and the difference between me now and me a year ago is already so big.

It took me a long time to find out what was 'wrong', because I'm so young I feel like nobody really knew what could be causing this. But in the end it all worked out and I'm happy with the person I have become, a year ago that was something I never thought I would be again.

What I'm trying to say is that just because life is hard right now and you feel like you don't belong, do your best and I can promise that it really does get better. The progress may be slow, but it is there.